Posted by: jkirkby8712 | April 6, 2011

Tuesday, 5th April 2011 – Susie!

During my ‘Showtime’ program tonight, I played a song for Susie – she couldn’t hear me of course, by then, she was safely back up in Bendigo –  but I simply felt the need to send some kind of message of  hope to counter her current feelings of despair. Maybe I will give her the words, after the passing of a few days.

The singer was Anne Sofie Von Otter [whom I’m hoping to go and see in concert towards the end of the year] – and the song ‘April After All’, with the words and music written by Ron Sexsmith, and Anne’s vocals joined by Elvis Costello. Just a short song, of less than 3 minutes, I felt the lyrics expressed what I somehow wanted to say – ‘But there’ll be other days’ and ‘Life goes up and down’ –  it’s just raining because ‘It’s April after all’!!  Obviously, a northern hemisphere April, but no matter, I think we are going to get a fair share of showers, in this southern April, this year. Published in 1997 by Ronboy Rhymes, these are how the lyrics go.

April After All

It’s really coming down;

It’s raining cats and hounds.

It’s falling on parades

And on the plans we’ve made.

But there’ll be other days

When things will turn our wsay,

And rain will start to fall,

It’s April after all.

Even the longest night,

Will lead you to daylight.

It’s the way May leads to June

And it’s how I’ve come to you.

The world goes spinning round,

Life goes up and down,

And rain is bound to fall;

It’s April after all.

But there’ll be other days,

Darling, come what may,

The rain has got to fall,

It’s April after all.

And tears are bound to fall.

It’s April after all.

I was disappointed to get home late this afternoon, and find Susie had already left, for the return to Bendigo, but I was also glad in a couple of ways – leaving any later, and she would have been driving into the western sun for  most of the trip, and she would also, for the first half of the journey, have been amongst the late afternoon traffic coming out of the city. Perhaps she still caught a bit of that!  And just the fact that she had made the effort to return to the university and  her studies after what had happened. The temptation just to stay down here, and just put everything aside must have been strong, but I’m pleased my girl was stronger, and able to withstand those feelings. Unfortunately, tonight she is alone – away from all family and friends with no-one up there to turn to. Though she has been getting a steady stream  of text messages this evening, and while they may seem like a nuisance, I feel they will be welcomed.  I’m particularly pleased, that eldest son, James, has been in regular contact tonight with his sister. He really ‘comes through’ at times like that!

But tonight, my own heart is aching for the loneliness and  pain of hurt that I know my daughter is feeling right now – and there is really little I can do about it. Sorry Susie. I guess most of us at some stage [I certainly have] have gone through the pain of a broken relationship, but until it actually happens, it’s difficult to really understand the depths of despair and personal loss that one feels.

Over the years, I have retained a little self made poster, thast Susan, aged 9 nines, gave to me for Father’s Day, in 1995.  It was ‘The DAD Award’, Awarded to Bill Kirk because you are the GREATEST Father in the World for the following reasons……………….1.  You always love me and care for me.  2. When I am worried, you cheer me up.  3. I love it when you take me places.  4. I love you because you are my Dad.  Happy Fathers’ Day, Love Susan.

Over the past couple of days, I haven’t really felt like the ‘Greatest Dad’ because I can’t stop my Susan from hurting………………………..

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